My Twin

For every change I rekindle

The shifts of the Earth dwindle

Anxiety prevails in a dark haze

Another one from another space

Buzzing in the air with numbness

The old replaced by the new

To know thyself after you

Confused by their many faces

Perplexed by their wide graces

Hungry for wisdom, knowledge, and power

Empty like a shell that has lost its animal

Got wrapped around this smooth water

Stepping out in the sun of the twilight

Seeing the full moon of the midday

The ever shining stars of the midnight

Twins are hopping joyfully in the garden

Holding the trident

Trying to trap

That old crab

Saint or sinner

Am no better

Sourness or bitter

Will fulfill my mind

Every second passing

Aches and takes away

The death of thy old self

Painful and comforting

Sweets and spices

Day and night

Angels and demons

Black and white

Red and blue

Me and myself

Shall not speaketh

About this ever changing curse

Of everything you felt alow

Ere the dusk sayeth the lord

This hither is much better

Iwis they will come after one

Sith the dark days they are swith

You have to yede to your mind

Your dark abyss

Your consciousness

Wist thyself

As angels speaketh thy name

You shall reign in vain

You pitiful little egad

I’m not one but I’m many

I change every whim and every query

Slippery like water

Can’t hold me, like air

thou shalt not catch me

Ever changing, erewhile can’t define me

Many personas you won’t tackle

Athwart me you will see void

Two hearts, two souls

Two life paths

Many personas, One mind

One day deceive the ere day trust

Revel in mayhem and pranks

Eft full of eloquence and wit

Will sometimes break but always bend

Afore laughter then tears

The best friends you can know

They knoweth the ebb and flow

Your trusted friend or your worst foe

Long time agone represented by the twins

We are the Gemini

Life is a never-ending road of discovery, learning, and development. Knowledge Is Power. Know yourself.

I always struggled to understand myself; I don’t trust myself at all though I’m confident and self-controlling. I know that I have something like a multiple-personality disorder or something and I’ve been ignoring it for the fun of it!

How can I be able to get to know myself when it is really hard to define myself?

My beliefs, my tastes, opinions, words, approaches, likes, dislikes, passions, obsessions, hobbies, favorites, choices, and everything shifts and changes according to my “Mind” , not like everyone says according to their “Mood”. I’m not moody. Period

I feel like I have four or more personas in me! I swing easily full loaded from Sinner to Born-Again Saint! From Bitch to that All-The-Time-Angry-Person! From Lazy Blondie to the All-Obsessed-Maniac! From the Sports Nerd to the Book Nerd! From the Hopeless romantic to the Man-Slut! (It gets intensely bad, as I have heavy Plutonian influences)

Yeah those are all me probably you just witnessed or knew two or one of those the whole time you knew me. They shift every day, sometime between midday and twilight, when I hear that click. I don’t have any control. But I know that one of my “twins” is kicking in and I can’t help it. Everyone’s personality is like a one diamond that has many facets (aspects), that’s normal. After that click I don’t remember anything about the previous twin.

But what’s not normal is mine, not only one diamond with facets but two diamonds with their own facets! It’s pitiful, isn’t it?

Especially because those things that kick in are totally opposite, like when the “Sinner” is taking over, I smoke, drink, fool around, cheat, scheme. But when “Saint” is taking over, I’m Germophobic, kind, loyal, friendly, I quit everything perverse, I stay pure, or born-again pure, and I have nightmares about going back to smokingL!

I don’t know why I change that way but it’s very true for the GWOO (the Gemini Window Of Opportunity), it’s very critical, lasts from 30 seconds to a couple of days―no longer. It’s offered to the potential subjects of the Gemini, if they got late, if they didn’t respond, if they ignored it, then they have missed it. Forever.

Don’t worry, no matter how hard you try , That Gemini has completely forgot and lost interest in you, he doesn’t even remember you, that’s why you will find him another one, a different personality, he lost interest, forever, he might even be pursuing someone else now. That’s why I keep changing, the first personality I’ve met you with is definitely not the same one I’m treating you with now, that’s why everyone got to see a different personality not everyone see all the personalities.

I can control it, but it’s hard, so I just leave my “self” to do whatever it wants, shift or no shift. It’s okay. I got used to trying to be used to it! At least it builds up mystery, to keep people guessing, to keep them excited, intrigued. I just don’t like revealing stuff about me, so that’s a very good camouflage.

I’m just grateful that I can still understand myself and know why I behave this way. I’m a Gemini. Deal with it. Take it or leave it. I come as a package with an Expiry date that will soon end just to begin another one.