For every change I rekindle
The shifts of the Earth dwindle
Anxiety prevails in a dark haze
Another one from another space
Buzzing in the air with numbness
The old replaced by the new
To know thyself after you
Confused by their many faces
Perplexed by their wide graces
Hungry for wisdom, knowledge, and power
Empty like a shell that has lost its animal
Got wrapped around this smooth water
Stepping out in the sun of the twilight
Seeing the full moon of the midday
The ever shining stars of the midnight
Twins are hopping joyfully in the garden
Holding the trident
Trying to trap
That old crab
Saint or sinner
Am no better
Sourness or bitter
Will fulfill my mind
Every second passing
Aches and takes away
The death of thy old self
Painful and comforting
Sweets and spices
Day and night
Angels and demons
Black and white
Red and blue
Me and myself
Shall not speaketh
About this ever changing curse
Of everything you felt alow
Ere the dusk sayeth the lord
This hither is much better
Iwis they will come after one
Sith the dark days they are swith
You have to yede to your mind
Your dark abyss
Your consciousness
Wist thyself
As angels speaketh thy name
You shall reign in vain
You pitiful little egad
I’m not one but I’m many
I change every whim and every query
Slippery like water
Can’t hold me, like air
thou shalt not catch me
Ever changing, erewhile can’t define me
Many personas you won’t tackle
Athwart me you will see void
Two hearts, two souls
Two life paths
Many personas, One mind
One day deceive the ere day trust
Revel in mayhem and pranks
Eft full of eloquence and wit
Will sometimes break but always bend
Afore laughter then tears
The best friends you can know
They knoweth the ebb and flow
Your trusted friend or your worst foe
Long time agone represented by the twins
We are the Gemini
I always struggled to understand myself; I don’t trust myself at all though I’m confident and self-controlling. I know that I have something like a multiple-personality disorder or something and I’ve been ignoring it for the fun of it!
How can I be able to get to know myself when it is really hard to define myself?
My beliefs, my tastes, opinions, words, approaches, likes, dislikes, passions, obsessions, hobbies, favorites, choices, and everything shifts and changes according to my “Mind” , not like everyone says according to their “Mood”. I’m not moody. Period
I feel like I have four or more personas in me! I swing easily full loaded from Sinner to Born-Again Saint! From Bitch to that All-The-Time-Angry-Person! From Lazy Blondie to the All-Obsessed-Maniac! From the Sports Nerd to the Book Nerd! From the Hopeless romantic to the Man-Slut! (It gets intensely bad, as I have heavy Plutonian influences)
Yeah those are all me probably you just witnessed or knew two or one of those the whole time you knew me. They shift every day, sometime between midday and twilight, when I hear that click. I don’t have any control. But I know that one of my “twins” is kicking in and I can’t help it. Everyone’s personality is like a one diamond that has many facets (aspects), that’s normal. After that click I don’t remember anything about the previous twin.
But what’s not normal is mine, not only one diamond with facets but two diamonds with their own facets! It’s pitiful, isn’t it?
Especially because those things that kick in are totally opposite, like when the “Sinner” is taking over, I smoke, drink, fool around, cheat, scheme. But when “Saint” is taking over, I’m Germophobic, kind, loyal, friendly, I quit everything perverse, I stay pure, or born-again pure, and I have nightmares about going back to smokingL!
I don’t know why I change that way but it’s very true for the GWOO (the Gemini Window Of Opportunity), it’s very critical, lasts from 30 seconds to a couple of days―no longer. It’s offered to the potential subjects of the Gemini, if they got late, if they didn’t respond, if they ignored it, then they have missed it. Forever.
Don’t worry, no matter how hard you try , That Gemini has completely forgot and lost interest in you, he doesn’t even remember you, that’s why you will find him another one, a different personality, he lost interest, forever, he might even be pursuing someone else now. That’s why I keep changing, the first personality I’ve met you with is definitely not the same one I’m treating you with now, that’s why everyone got to see a different personality not everyone see all the personalities.
I can control it, but it’s hard, so I just leave my “self” to do whatever it wants, shift or no shift. It’s okay. I got used to trying to be used to it! At least it builds up mystery, to keep people guessing, to keep them excited, intrigued. I just don’t like revealing stuff about me, so that’s a very good camouflage.
I’m just grateful that I can still understand myself and know why I behave this way. I’m a Gemini. Deal with it. Take it or leave it. I come as a package with an Expiry date that will soon end just to begin another one.